Monday, July 29, 2013

My Most Embarrassing Story.

I think the time has come that I am finally prepared to share this with the world. I can't believe I'm doing this willingly.

The first time I shared this story I was in college. It was probably 5 years after the incident and I was still so mortified by what happened that I hadn't spoken a word of it until then. Well, on a quick college road trip to Lava Hot Springs, sitting in the warm water with some friends, we took turns asking questions and exchanging stories. When the question came up, "What is your most embarrassing moment?"

I knew the answer. I had my backup answers ready. The ones I always gave when this inevitable question arose.
         "I ran off stage to throw up in the middle of a dance at U.S. Championships."
         "I fell 6 times in a row in the snow after the bus dropped me off in front of my apartment. All while the bus driver waited for me to finally get up safely while the bus full of 60 of my college peers watched."
         "On a first date while walking across a parking lot, I slipped, my date tried to help me and I pulled him down too. At which point he slammed his head into a parked car."

These were all embarrassing, yes, and great stories. But the time had come to finally share my actually, true, most embarrassing moment. I was shocked with myself when the words actually started spilling from my lips. But the second it started speaking, I realized how incredibly hysterical it actually was.

Now the time has come to share with the rest of world.

I was sitting in class during my first semester of my high school career. Eager to make friends and fit in, I acted my part accordingly. I went for the trendy girl image with lots of friends. The last things I wanted was anything to make me the weird, different girl. This mindset only added to my embarrassment.

Here I am, the period after lunch, and it just hits me. BAM! My stomach is going to explode! To this day, I have never had such a terrible stomach ache. This was not just food indigestion. Something was terribly wrong, and I could feel that "wrong" pushing as hard as it could to get out of my system.

And contrary to popular belief, girls do fart. It happens. We try to be polite and hold it until we are blue in the face. But in the end, we all have to let it out at some point.

I tried every trick in the book to keep it in. I was already at my blue in the face point, but I was determined. I knew whatever was in there was ready to reek havoc. But finally, it crawled it's way out.

Soon, every person around me starts erupting in gagging and dry heaves. The rest of the class looked on in innocent sympathy, knowing the feeling, and glad they were in far enough range to avoid the gasses that were certainly clouding our part of the classroom. Little did they know they were about to find themselves under attack as well.

A girl next to me, disgusted by the smell, starts throwing blame and trying to find the source. She turns and angrily tells me, "I think it was Ryan!"

"Yeah, it had to be Ryan! How could he!?"

I protested the smell and tried to act disgusted instead of embarrassed right along with the rest of the class. Yes, the rest of the class. By this point, it had reached every person in the suddenly close quarters. Even with the unusually wide spread of odor, there was an even more unusually long linger time. It would NOT go away.

I was counting the seconds, then minutes, waiting for it to dissolve. But it wouldn't. Finally, my teaching reached her limits. She tried to stay mature and play it off. This was no longer possible. Determined to get rid of the stench. She made the entire class check the bottom of their shoes for poop.

I am that girl. I brought an entire class of people to tears with my fart.
And we had to check our shoes for poop.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013


I always feel pretty dumb writing blog posts about our every day boring married life. Mostly because all our friends our posting about their babies and growing family, or weddings and school and new jobs. We're just over here doing the same old thing. Going on trips and hanging out with our dog. Someday I'll have meaningful, important posts. For now, we'll just be the lame married couple. Don't feel obligated to continue on.

For those of you still with me, for the 4th of July we went on a mini trip to Southern Utah for my family reunion. It's a tradition in my family that the Crane's all get together for the 4th and celebrate in the small town of Koosharem. Ever heard of it? Didn't think so.

Well. There are many reasons Koosharem is the bee's knees. And my family.

  •  LOTS of guns
  • horseback riding
  • many motorized vehicles
  • camping
  • fishing
  • did I mention the guns?
So lets start with the guns. I just have to chuckle because everyone in the family is a firm believer in firearms. Whoever wants, packs up and drives a couple miles away from the house. We get to where we will be shooting guns with my uncle and about 8 of the cousins. 9 of us total. Well I could swear that guns were appearing from nowhere. We had everything imaginable and way more than necessary for 9 people. Everyone would just walk back and pick their next weapon to test and step up to our shooting range and start firing. A great welcome to the family for Jake. He was even given a private lesson from Uncle Jeff. 
Before shooting we must recite for 5 rules of gun safety. For those of you not in the family, they are;
    1. Never put your finger on the trigger
    2. Know your target and what's beyond
    3. The gun is always loaded
    4. Only point at what your willing to shoot
    5. Shoot only from the designated spot... (something like that... I might get disowned)
Besides shooting, we enjoyed the very coveted Koosharem 4th of July parade. We usually make a homemade float and ride along with everyone else. This year we just watched as all 10 of the floats rode by us. Jake got to actually be a judge too. A very prestigious job. One that I was really jealous of.

We also went horseback riding on Mr. Bean. We drove around my uncles Dune Buggy and 4-wheelers. We ate lots of delicious food and played games with the fam. My Aunts set up all sorts of fun activities, games and a scavenger hunt. Basically I have an amazing family and it was so much fun to spend time with them, even if it was only a couple of days. 

Jake and I took Cooper down for the trip too. He was a little bit shell shocked and too excited for his own good. That's not to say he had way too much fun. He discovered cows for the first time and couldn't get enough of them. There was a pen on the side of the house with a couple Angus Cows. Cooper got inside and would push their buttons enough for them to start chasing him in circles. He was literally running for his life, as fast as he could from the cows that HE had pissed off, and he was LOVING every second of it. He wouldn't stop! Though scary at first, it got to the point of being just downright hilarious. I wish so bad that I would have gotten a video of it. Next time. That is, if we're ever delusional enough to bring him along again.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Summer Lovin'

For the first time in a while I feel like I'm actually able to enjoy some summertime. Last year was SO crazy.

  • We were renovating our house
  • Jake was going to school full time
  • We were both working full time 
  • My job kept me insanely busy
  • We were planning a wedding
  • I competed in the U.S. Championships in D.C.
  • Jake ran Ragnar in Washington State
  • We moved
Basically. It was a nightmare

The year before that, Jake was still on his mission in D.C. while I was living and working in Peru. Though that was exciting and I did a lot of fun things there, it was their winter time.

This year, we are making a valid effort of enjoying ourselves a little bit. Though much of this enjoyment has to be done on weekends, we do what we can. Jake is still going to school and working full time. He has tough classes at night and is always busy. But we plan accordingly and are doing what we can.

Warning. This will be a picture overload.

This past week we took a day off work to just go hang out at the pool and have some fun. We ended up going to Kearns Rec center and swimming, playing basketball, playing tennis, and watching some of a water polo tournament they had going on. (who knew the world kept going while I'm locked away at work?)
 Yes. We are so attractive.
Cooper has been feeling some of this summertime heat as well. Where does a dog go when he's all hot and needs to cool down? He lays down in the bathtub. Naturally.
Jake was playing in a spring softball league that just ended as well. They ended up winning the whole thing. It's always fun watching him play, but this year they killed everyone. It made for some pretty boring games. I'll be honest.

Now this weekend was pretty great. First, our neighborhood threw a luau. Complete with the pig, dancers, music and all. It was so fun and we loved hanging out with all our neighbors and enjoying the superb food.

 Oh. And the missionaries.
Finally, we hit up some Taylorsville Dayz! This is our stompin' ground. We went last year as well. But this year it was SO packed. I couldn't believe how many people were there. I took a picture of the crowd watching the Abba concert because I couldn't believe the amount of people. 
See. Tons. But we made our way around to the shops, rides, games, and then sat and watched the spectacular fireworks show.  Our city does it right. 

We have more plans for the summer ahead and will hopefully get lots of time to relax and enjoy some more fun summer activities. We've been able to go hang out at the canyon, go hiking, and lay by the pool with some friends. We're going away for the 4th this weekend so I'm sure I'll have more to post about that later. As for now, enjoy this heat!